What to do when you feel love
Am A Superstar!! : )FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK *KLAGAGU SORRY! LOL I thought that was a funny typo from chat tonight! :D So here i shall go...i will explain things to you...kinda like the page: http://rangerhunter.wikia.com/wiki/Mr._CC_talk_to_mee...._:p LOL... :) I will tell you some things I have been feeling so you know you're not alone...and just explaining my expeirces with this stuff and how you're feeling is totally OK. :) My Friend Ranger Elmo (talk) 03:06, April 9, 2013 (UTC) here i go swswswswswdebgv testing ok so..u said in chat: Oh nothing. Just in gym, it was free time, oftcourse I stayed out of the major soccer game happening, then again, so did Clayton and his friend, Patrick. They were toss football's at each other. I looked at him so many times, I hope no one noticed. He is truly the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. Heh, he likes to carry the thing to balls and stuff. I I thought, what if I walked up to him and said "hey Clayton! Can I carry your balls?" The thought made me giggle like an idiot. When we're walking back to the Locke rooms, some kids wanna get there ASAP, some could care less.and Clayton was just slowly walking up the hill, and I stayed behind because nothing I could do in the locker room is more valuable than any t me I have with Clayton. Walking up the hill, I will occasionally look behind me to get one last look at Clayton. Those last looks, I will never forget. which pretty much inspired me to make this PAGE! o: What you said...well everything you have said today that you've been writing.....you say it's nonsense and meaning less..it's not! i dont think it is! i often go back into my diary from when i was in middle school to see how i wrote about James. It different from how i feel about other people now, but it still has meaning to me. The way that in your little paragraph up there..I am going to decode a few things from my perspective. First of all I am glad to hear it when you said, "Nothing I could do in the locker room could be more valuable then my time with Clayton." I am glad that you understand that nothing is forever, and that anything could happen so you really do have to treasure the time you had with a person. I wish i'd treasured my days in Ian's class more and such, damn I don't even see hima nymore...I hope I will... The way you said you always were sneaking peeks at him (totally acceptable and understandable to do) and at the end...i like how you described the hill. Almost like the end of a movie. He is walking up the hill, like into the sunset and you're getting those last moments to see him during the day. The way, you also said that he has a lisp, yet you just...love him. The way you said his hair falls into his face, he sounds like he's your prince. :) Weather to say what you feel is love or not...no one really knows but yourself. I know you do not even want to THINK about loving someone who youve never had a conversation with. But I know for a fact he knows who you are. I always think about how you said that one day you and him were partners for a few minutes in gym and you got to play with him, althought of course not in the way you WANT to. ;) Me...LOL i said "weather" up there i meant, "whether" i am doing this fast ina way so i dont lose my train of thought. Haha...train. That reminds me of how all the time lately Kamari is making these stupid tihngs up, saying, "Downtown on train X." it makes me laugh! I just don't know why thats so funny or considered bad to say. X kinda smirks at it because he has nothing to DO with it, it's just something stupid kamari made up, probably because he and X are the only 2 boys in the whole CLASS! o: No one knows...at least....i dont THINK anyone really knows at school how I really feel about him. I know that no matter what, Ian was the one who made me feel TRUE love, and he always wil be that perosn. But X...Xavier..haha...as I have said many times before I have no idea why i fell for him, and why things turned out the way they did for us. In the beginning of the school year this year, he had no problem with talking to me, sitting next to me, going outside with me taking pictures. I was his friend. He looked right at me when he spoke. He'd talk to me, laugh, even touch me on occasion. I talked to him so much in fact, I always noticed how smart he is. Even today i said, "You can't even let Becki finish her story without you throwing some kind of information in there!" :P That's the thing. After me and him actually being friends, after awhile it gradally slowed down, and the stopped. I had no idea WHY our conversations got less, the looking at each other got LESS...I just did not understand it. I'd ask him, "Are you OK?" "Yes." "Are you mad at me?" "No." "Did you notice we are so different lately?" "Yes." It's like he knows exactly what is going on, yet...lately he...every time I try to talk to him...I KNOW he hears me, every word i say, and if he doesn't, like today, in a rare moment, he looked at me and said, "What?" o: I thought, "Wow he looked at me again." I do not understand why he suddenyl got so...weird with me. As I said before...Becki...Anisha...Tashaila...and anoyone else...he will look at them when he is talking to them. Me? Lately he just...WON'T....and I hate it. Me, him & Becki are all talking and..he LOOKS right AT her! And she will never..NEVER...ever ever ever...like it. Treasure it. Think anything as I do. She just won't. No one will. And i always think to myself, "He says he likes no one in that way...yet he acts like he likes her. Is he TRYING to make me jealous? Because...well even tho Becki IS my friend...it's working." I hate it. Today he was talkign and...I was just stairing at him. Why am I shaking as i type this? Ahh.. o: Anyways...I just saw something in him as he was talking. As Ev says, "the special one." He IS the special one. I do not know why. The skinny Spanish kid with a mustache and glasses just freaking stole my heart. I can't breathe sometimes...my emotions are too much! Example would be, today Margaret and I with Jyerr, we drove past his house. We were driving near Allen High School (yeah i dont care I put the name on here...i really doubt anyone would find it from this haha) and whenever I am near the school, I just ...I think of X because he lives right next to it! I got jittery happy butterflies in my stomach as I heard Jyerr rambling nonsense, and thought, "Xavier is probably in his house right now. We live in the same city, he says we're friends...i wish I could go in there!" I did say to him once about hanging out, he said at the time (this was months ago now) he felt at the time it was impossible during the school year. Well that's a little irrelevant now. But anyways...I sat there with the breeze in my hair and thought, "What am I feeling for him? Today I was staring at him as he was talking, looking at his face, his clothes, his body, that cute jacket he was wearing today...and that cute little light mustache he has, wow...i do not care what my mom or anyone says...i find him attractive. I just DO. he is my friend and i developed feelings for him. Why, after the whole thing with ian that depressed me, why can i not have him? Why is this happening so slowly? I just...i feel much more for him right now..I mean...he's Xavier. I just do. :| " I think thats all i wanna ramble now! Hope that was not too much! Gee I guess I had to get some of my feelings out there too! Well I hope I helped you too Ev, I mean the way you talk about Clayton, i understand it and I LOVE to hear about it! I do not think that anything you ever have to say about him is stupid, meaningless...or irrelevant. I think everything you say about him is truly coming from the heart. And I know that you don't talk to him yet like you'd like to...but I don't want you to give up yet! Maybe God is saving a special conversaton or moment for you two. I do not know, but i don't think that you guys will NEVER talk in the history of ever. I am certain at some point you two will at least exchange hellos. I knwo it Ev! as of now, it's alrigt to feel whatever you want about him. I hope this was not too terribly rambly or long o: :) My Friend Ranger Elmo (talk) 03:53, April 10, 2013 (UTC)